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This is home to me. Not perhaps, the home of my birth, but I feel as much a part of this place, as if I have always been here. This beautiful rock is part of the mountain that my family and I live upon. Across from here, lies the great Saco River, a River, which is and has always been so special to me, from the first day I ever laid eyes upon her.
I cannot recount the hours I have spent in this place. It brings me such peace and the beauty of the river, the land, the trees, the animals and birds, makes it, to me, a very special and Sacred spot.
Here I have come to pray, to find comfort, to know that new life and new beginnings will come, despite there being at times, what seems such overwhelming odds and some difficult life lessons.
The winter snows were reluctant to leave this year. It is late April. Everywhere there is the sound of running water - from the roar of the upper falls as the melting snows fill the river, to nearing the point of overflowing its banks along this small country road, so similiar to the many roads this beautiful river graces.
I try to remember what it must have been like, long ago, before black top and houses and electricity and trains. It's so beautiful now, and yet, I CAN imagine what it must have been like then. Life is all around so strongly here. The presence of those who have walked the land long long ago, is as strong as if it were only yesterday, they gathered at the Great Falls to follow the salmon and to camp and rest.
Perhaps the Tsalagi never came here, but the Indian people were great travelers and traders and I have no doubt that both my Ancestors walked this land at some time as they traveled to trade or hunt.
So many changes! Just as we begin to think the icy grip will never loosen, the snows melt and the new life springs forth from the earth, from the branches of the trees, from the hidden nests of the wild turkey.
I have changed. It has taken me a long road to realize many lessons the last few years but I think I have finally learned one good lesson, with the help of good friends and most of all, the guidance and love of the one who made all people.
I hear more and more today - the voices of people who are rising stronger and louder - we must unite - the division between us must end! The great arguments of who is more Indian than not - and those who speak from their hearts have told the truth again and again, despite those who try to outshout the voices of wisdom and spirit - the wise words from those who speak with wisdom can never be drowned out by the voices of negativity, the voices that hurt others with their words and who spend so much time on finding ways to hurt others, rather than to help or teach others.
They do not see the great picture of life. They do not see the reflection in the water.
It is hard for us to see a true reflection of ourselves. It is not easy and sometimes it hurts to see the truth that looks back at us. But we must look. We must listen to the words of wisdom. We must remember the spirit and integrity and honesty of being Indian people. We must step back from the greed, the discord and the very things that will not only continue to divide us, but perhaps will, if we continue, destroy us.
I am not a full blood. I am not a reservation Indian. I did not suffer the terrible atrocities of my Ancestors nor have I suffered as perhaps you have in your lifetime. But we all suffer in one way or another. How often we hear, "walk a mile in my mocassins" but do we really think about what it means?
Just as I felt lost, alone and forsaken I went to this special place. I gazed upon this rock and stone, the water, the land and the trees and I saw strength, beauty and new life.
I am grateful for the hard lessons of the past. I am grateful for those who have shared their wisdom with me to help me overcome my personal obstacles. I am becoming stronger I believe, like this rock, I hope.
I am Indian. Tsalagi. I am a Grandmother. I am a Wife and a Mother. I am a Sister and a Friend. I am a Cousin and an Auntie.
I am a human being.
This is my Mountain Home.
Svhyeyi Aga ©
Late April 2001